Crossdressers and their wives
I was in bed with my ex-husband, with six years of sub-par sex playing in my mind like a silent movie.
That ended our marriage. I am a cross dressing married man.
He wanted my help with shopping for dresses, but I was wearing work shirts and overalls—this was the early s, and nobody condemned me for dressing like a male farm worker! Men who hide their crossdressing and then act like the wife should accept it or be turned on by it are fooling themselves. I really wish he had said something before we got married.
If there is one person who is so busy hiding what they do and feeling horrible about it, then there is the other person in the relationship not getting everything that they need because the other is too busy hiding part of themselves that they never fully give one hundred percent to the relationship.
A male cross-dresser may derive sexual excitement by identifying with a woman, but he can still maintain a heterosexual consciousness when out in the world. He mind only wanted to believe I was cheating. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message.
It is hard to find a woman that would accept me as an underwear crossdresser. Is that weird? I am not saying that I would like it, but you know, this is who that person is and what makes them happy so who am I to judge that?
A secure woman will accept it while other women will fear it. Laughter can really help!
If crossdressing was as simple as just wearing clothesim sure it wouldnt be a problem. He especially hoped that one day he would marry a woman who could accept him with all his quirks and proclivities.
I hated wearing dresses even through high school to now. Talk to him about what he does and why. If it makes them happy and stable hey i am good with that.
When cross-dressing puts relationships in the crosshairs
You use to get arrested for crossdressing and that may be why people avoided being seen in crossgerendered clothing. I was so attracted to my husband and wanted sex all the time. I feel like I have let her down in some ways in our marriage.
Up till about the age of 7 as far as understand, after which we start to take on our own personality and build upon the base that was establish during the first 7 years. As we became better and better friends, he confessed to me that his sartorial interests were with feminine clothing, and that he had been wearing female lingerie under his tweed suits for many years. Henry was lonely and felt keenly isolated. Bull Shit! All rights reserved. These people that comment saying its ok for girls to wear jeanspants etc and that its no different obviously arent looking at the big picture.
My husband didnt say a word till we had been married for over a year. I am far from being attracted to men.
Everything he does makes me mad. I guess that that could limit some of my options? Truth is they never told us why. I am not sure that I would ever be okay with that, because all this time I would think that he was gay and that this was his way of expressing that. It is not that you need to fight that urge and deny who you are, but it is all about discovering ays to tap into all parst of you and become comfortable with who you are.
Men and women cheat however men seem to get caught more. If you find that ability to get everything out in an open and honest way than I think that there may actually be a little more understanding and clarity there that has always been missing and could in the end result in a stronger relationship overall.
Guys reading this while wearing frilly garb might be concerned about being caught. What do I do? I mean, not every cross dresser wants to be a woman they just like to wear womens clothes? Self expression in clothes of the opposite gender does not make them gay but it might help them understand the opposite gender better. Yes girls wear jeans and pants etcbut there is no sexual turn on involved in it at allI wear jeans all the time BUT i dont feel the need to masturbate or have sexual fantasies while wearing themim still the same person,I dont create an image or another person that turns me on so much that i feel the need to keep it hidden from society.
Wow, now that takes a strong woman to stand by her man that is doing this. Well that would be me. Please understand that she as a straight woman attracted to males and masculinity has a right to have that attraction. This fear is shared by many cross-dressers. I tired to play along with this, i did a lot of research too.
Also I strong is not necessarily the adjective to describe the woman.
The line about being a turn on for him and a turn off for her? There is no law saying we have to wear ased underwear, there fore if a man wants to wear panties he can and if a woman wants to wear boxers her choice. Woman are beautiful and so are men sometimes expressing that in all kinds of ways feels good. I know he yearned for a female partner who would understand. I think that if a husband is crossdressing he might understand his wife better and vice versa.
We ALL have masculine and feminine energy in us. I am a classic tomboy from the time I was 5 years old. Thank you for your insight! Whether one admits dealing with toxic shame we all have some element of this because we all where children at one time and it would just about impossible to not have had one or two events effect us as children.
I am fine with that on its own, but not from my husband! Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. I agree completely. I express Crossdressers and their wives freely. Once a fetish is established and out there it is hard for some partners to accept or play along. One wife told me years ago that it would have been easier to accept her husband if he announced he was gay.
I found out 6 months ago that my partner of 2 years is a crossdresserand it has destroyed our otherwise great relationship. I am a faithful devoted husband and and known for my creativity. Food for thought. Now I am so angry. My wife has been very understanding but she is losing her patience I can tell.
These folks do everything from campouts to discussion groups to bus tours, and they may be able to help you find a local support group. Many choose macho professions to help hide or mitigate the feminine side of themselves—jobs such as firefighter, auto mechanic, or plumber.
I dont want to offend or upset anyone hereim just saying things from my perspective. It could be that issues such as this are going to be easier to deal with and for both partners to deal with once all of the shame and secrecy is gone. Ron I thank you for sharing that story.
It Destroyed my very happy relationship in 6months. Open, non judging, caring, accepting and most important trusting. For some its just not that basic and simpleit can actually change how you see that once perfect man you thought you had found. I guess that I have always had this very masculine ideal of what I want my man to be, and these two things would not jibe for me. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.
We divorced because my husband was a crossdresser
A woman has menstrual cycles, a uterus, can give childbirth. All One. No one cares who you fornicate with or what you enjoy. After events like these people lightned up, it took awhile but people get the picture. Women marry men, to expect them to accept you as a woman is a bit much. CD is a way to experience femininity if only in a fantasy escape with myself.
Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.