Sensing my nerves, she ordered me an elderflower cocktail, and we covered the usual conversational ground for first dates: jobs, siblings, jokes, favourite TV shows. She gives the driver directions to her place, then pins me up against the window, smiles at me with her ridiculously beautiful face, and kisses me.
It felt totally different to chatting to guys. By Chloe Laws. I did. I've only ever been in relationships with guys, but I always wondered what it'd be like to sleep with a woman. But the whole time I was acutely aware of two things: her eyes on my body, and her hand travelling north from my knee. Sophie, a bohemian-looking artist with puppies in her photos and a pixie haircut, said, "I'm actually just trying to make new friends, nothing sexual.
We got naked, fast. Friday night, and I'm two hours, four cocktails and three intense kisses into my first-ever date with a woman. But I was so nervous, I drank too much and yelled at him about feminism and climate change. Sex with a woman brought out a mysterious, daring side that nobody expected, including myself. Then I turned away when he tried to kiss me and ran to the bus stop, jumping on the first one that came.
By Glamour. I swiped right, we matched and she asked what I was looking for on Tinder. She was 30, half-Spanish, half-Australian with green eyes and rapid-fire banter, but after three days she simply vanished, and I never heard from her again. I cried every day for about three months, then downloaded Tinderas I thought it might help me move on. I couldn't stop looking at her, touching her, kissing her everywhere.
In fact, I was surprised by how many I found attractive. Nobody offered to send me dick pics straight away, or got mad when I said I wasn't interested. I'd pause on each girl, and picture kissing her to test whether I still found the whole thing hot. I went home the next morning feeling completely satisfied. She puts her arm around my waist, pulls me into her, bites my bottom lip and whispers in my ear, "So, are you coming home with me? We continued this sweet little seduction dance for a while, sitting closer and closer to one another and inventing reasons to touch, then talking about something completely unsexy to give me more time to build up my courage.
Then there was Cassie, 28, with long dark hair, twice as curvy as me, twice as confident and a total dream. After breaking up with her long-term boyfriend, writer Kate Leaver decided to use Tinder to live out her ultimate fantasy - sleeping with another woman and the experience taught her more about herself than ever before. I take love one person at a time, whether they're male or female. Sure, I thought it'd be hot to try something different, but I had no idea how to make it happen, and didn't really expect it to.
A month into my 'Women Only' mission, I matched with a girl called Nikky. Then I flipped her over and did the same - being between her legs was fascinating and confusing. At this stage, I was still keen to find my first female hook-up, but I was also just enjoying the messaging. When I told my sister, she insisted I try again.
Then, when I was 27, my long-term relationship ended and I found myself single for the first time since The break-up was excruciating - I loved him very much - but necessary. She was already there when I arrived, sitting on a black velvet seat in the back corner of the bar, and wearing the tight black dress from her photo. It was liberating and taught me to appreciate the beauty of women's bodies, including my own. With men, I was lucky to swipe right once every 40 photos.
I started watching lesbian porn when I was 24 and realised women's bodies turned me on. With women, it was more like one in four. She went down on me and it felt amazing, like she really knew what she was doing. She pinned me down on her purple sheets and talked to me while she kissed her way down my chest, tummy and tops of my thighs. I told her I'd never been with a woman and I wanted to change that.
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I didn't want to be that girl - mainly because the guy wasn't my type - but it suddenly occurred to me that I could use Tinder to curate my fantasy of sleeping with a woman. Her interest in me was clear - and I knew I was attracted to her. At some point, I remember brushing her lips with my thumb and stroking the side of her face briefly.
Ten seconds pass, then I kiss her in a way that says, "Hell, yes" - before hailing a cab and diving into the back seat. It might sound funny, but making another woman orgasm made me see my own body as attractive.
I didn't tell anyone for ages, because it felt awesome to hug that secret night to myself. It was a strange, comforting way to get back in the game; swiping through pictures of guys without having to engage with any, until I felt ready. Yes, things could get cheeky - a couple of girls shared exactly what they wanted to do to me - but it was never without an obvious lead-up that implied consent and comfort on my part. I still fantasise about women. I'd slept with a woman and it had been sweet and raunchy in exactly the way I'd hoped.
I tried to imitate what I knew felt good on me, and it was received pretty well. Even though we had the same body parts, this was a totally different angle and I had no idea what to do. We didn't see each other again, but that's only because I soon moved 13,km from Australia to the UK.
We kept in touch for a while until she got back together with an ex-girlfriend and I started to fall in love with a guy. Girl-on-girl Tinder felt gentler and less threatening.
I've always been sensible, sweet and bookish Kate - the girl with the good grades, good career and good relationship. But she soon made it clear she wanted a threesome with her boyfriend, and that wasn't part of my plan, so we ended our interaction, wishing each other luck.
We stumble out of a tiny bar onto the street and look at each other. Dinner with an Italian male model, three sexy nights with a gorgeous French man and four romantic dates with a Dutch 21 year old later, my confidence was gradually coming back.
We nervously explored each other’s bodies.
We played around with each other's bodies for hours, then fell asleep tangled together. It's never been about a specific person; more just fleeting fantasies about strangers. Then she arched one eyebrow, stood up, insisted on paying for our drinks and pulled me out onto the street.
We got in the cab and made out the whole way to her place. Her hands are all over me and my breathing gets shallow - I'm half turned on, half terrified of meeting the driver's eye in the rear-view mirror.
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It made me feel powerful and sexy and open to anything. View Gallery.
Gallery 12 Photos. My swiping-but-not-talking phase lasted a month until, after encouragement from some work friends, I agreed to meet one guy for a drink. That was my secret for years - and I liked it that way.
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When I did finally open up to a few close friends, they were shocked but also proud of me, and I loved that. My first match was with Maria. She was Irish, beautiful and four years younger than me. Late one night, about six months after I'd ed, I was idly scrolling through the app when a photo of an extremely hot couple 'looking for another girl for fun' caught my eye. Either way, sleeping with Nikky changed me.
Right now, I want monogamy with a man, but that doesn't necessarily make me exclusively heterosexual. It also taught me to see sex in a more intimate way, and to expect that level of respect and tenderness from any partner, male or female - whether I meet them on Tinder or IRL. It's something I'd do again, if the timing was right. And if I can do that, bloody hell, what can't I do? Out of curiosity, at first, I decided to change my settings to 'Women Only', and started swiping.
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It looked like she was on a date and I remember thinking, 'I wish it was with me'. By Bianca London. In one of her photographs, she was sitting at a candlelit table wearing a low-cut black dress, smiling into the camera. I was worried she might be offended at the thought of being my 'experiment', but she said she found the idea of being my first a massive turn-on, and we arranged a date for the following Saturday.
I'd drunk my nerves away and by the time we stumbled through her front door, into her room and onto her bed, I surprised myself with how confident I felt with her. At first, it reminded me that there were people who could fancy me. Diana, a year-old Brazilian dancer, called me 'a pretty mermaid angel'; Isabella, 22, conversed exclusively in emojis; Myf, a sweet 27 year old from Wales, was only in town for three days, and Bobbie, 29, was too into her cats for my liking.