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My husband watched me have sex

Q Good day, Doc, I am bewildered by the fact that my husband wants to watch me having sex with other men. We celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary last summer, and I would say that we have survived quite a few ups and downs.

My Husband Watched Me Have Sex

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For many men, the idea of their wife sleeping with another man is enough to send them into a jealous rage. However, for this man he actually enjoys it and brings his friends and aquaintances over for threesomes and sometimes he backs out of the session altogether to just watch. We have been married for six years now and he is older than me with nine years. I always sensed he was a weird person even before we met but I never guessed he would be this weird. Four years into the marriage, he brings this guy jioni, a former high school classmate and friend he said.

What is my age: 42
Ethnicity: Polish
Sex: Fem
What is my hair: Auburn
Favourite music: Dance
Hobbies: Marital arts
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September A Sigh of Relief Worry is driven by mood, not logic. Do I Need Help? So when I start looking at my fantasy data, I see that the power dynamics tend to be a little different than in the scenario you described with Sloane. Posted July 10, Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. I found that for a lot of people, the objects of the cuckolding fantasy felt empowered.

What I see in my data on sexual fantasies —and in the data on frequency of porn searches—is that cuckolding appears to be a very popular fantasy.

Lehmiller Ph. The Myths of Sex. About the Author. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Taddeo: Yes. I think that for Sloane, she thought it was submissive to be in that position.

Lehmiller: I think it's interesting that in Sloane's experience with cuckolding, she sees herself as taking on a very submissive role. But she had to be careful not say that any of the penises were bigger than his. Justin Lehmiller: Let's talk about Sloane. Lehmiller: It's interesting that you say that. Back Get Help. I think she didn't really know what it was, and I think she was happy with it, but the way that other people responded to her was unhappy. I recently interviewed Taddeo about Three Women and, in a series of posts, I will share some of the highlights of our discussion.


Three experts turn everything you know about anxiety inside out. Back Today. So it was fascinating to learn more about the perspective of the partner being watched, who is taking on the more performative, exhibitionistic role. Three Womenby journalist Lisa Taddeo, is a fascinating new book on sexual desire.

The excerpt from my conversation with Taddeo below has been lightly edited for clarity. But one of the reasons I didn't was because I didn't want to infringe upon Sloane's marriage. Cuckolding is so interesting to me. A lot of people seem to be turned on by the idea of watching their partner having sex with someone else.

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And the partners who want to have sex with somebody while their partner is watching them—that's actually linked to more fantasies about dominance. Lisa Taddeo: Yes, I definitely think that's true. Finally, there is Sloane, who has an active sex life with her husband—a man she desires above all others—yet she also has sex with other men, and sometimes women, while her husband watches. As a social psychologist, I find that interesting in terms of the way we label our own sexual experiences versus how outsiders perceive them.

Husband loves watching me have sex with other people but i’m worried it’s gone too far

I told her that and she said, "Well The way that she ruled her husband's desire was so dominant to me. It takes a deep dive into the sex lives and relationships of three American women living in different parts of the country. She's engaged in a cuckolding relationship in which her husband watches her have sex with other people. So for her, it was more like she felt like she was in a position of power, but people were telling her that she wasn't. However, in my research on cuckolding fantasies, what I find is that people who picture themselves in the voyeuristic role—they're watching their partner have sex with someone else—tend to have more fantasies about sexual submission in general.

Back Psychology Today. Her best friend was telling her that she wasn't, and so it was difficult for her to see herself objectively.

But I also think that part of what she was seeing was informed by what other people around her were telling her that she was. Online: Sex and PsychologyFacebookTwitter. In fact, she started describing herself as a submissive to other people after reading Fifty Shades.

In the case of Sloane, you mentioned how when she read Fifty Shades of Grey —a story about female submission and male dominance—it gave her a framework for thinking about her cuckolding relationship. At the same time, however, I got the sense that she has feelings of power, too.

It's a very give-and-take kind of relationship, because one person is very desired and the other person wants the other person to be desired by multiple people. Back Find a Therapist. These women include Maggie, who has a sexual relationship with one of her teachers in high school that ultimately devastates her psychologically.

Back Magazine. She just feels like an exalted being.

A new book offers insight into cuckolding from a woman's perspective.

It led her to see herself as the submissive partner in the relationship. For example, beyond the story I tell in the book about Sloane and her husband Richard, I met another woman in Indiana whose boyfriend had cuckolding fantasies; however, he didn't want to watch in person.

Then there's Lina, who is in a passionless relationship with her husband that prompts her to seek out an affair with her high-school crush.

So, while I would have liked to have gotten a degree approach, I also got to a point where I really just wanted to tell the women's stories. I didn't see what she was seeing.

I think that she was able to tell me so much because it was kind of one-sided and her husband wasn't a part of it. Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph. Worry is driven by mood, not logic.

Anxiety holds your deepest yearnings. Family Life Child Development Parenting.

Dear deidre

View Help Index. And you can subdue it for good. The way you approached this book was to try to tell these women's stories through their eyes. Taddeo: I think that Sloane was in fact in a position of power. Essential Re. Read Next. There were several instances that I mentioned in the book, but also more instances that I didn't put in the book, where she's walking around the room and feels completely in charge. Did you find this to be the case in researching your book?